Nothing Stays the Same

"Nothing stays the same."  Nothing. Ever.

I glanced at my cookbook binder sitting on my counter-top and it hit me like a bag of flour falling from the top cupboard and landing on my head!

Nothing stays the same. Don't get me wrong, it's not so much about the recipes in the binder in my picture below. It's more about how we've changed. With the recent diagnoses of gluten intolerance and food allergies for my husband we've had to change the way we eat. The recipes that fill my cookbooks, folders, recipe boxes and binders have served me well over the years but they list too many ingredients that my husband can't eat now.

Then I looked at the antique spoons, the salt and pepper shakers, coffee maker, jars, recipes and new coffee cup also on the counter, and realized there's more to the story.

The clippings inserted in the left side of the binder were cut out of the Columbia Tribune on October 21, 1998. It's my favorite Donna Pierce article titled "NOTHING STAYS THE SAME." Donna's story is about the day her friend and neighbor Johanna moved. Donna's articles always touched my heart.

I had the opportunity one day last year to tell Donna's father, Dr. Eliot Battle, how much I loved her articles. It was just before the dedication for our new Columbia high school (named for her late mother, Muriel Battle.) Still wish I'd followed my urge that morning to snap Dr. Battle's picture as we talked. He was proudly wearing his BATTLE HIGH SPARTANS hat and beaming ear to ear as we talked about his beloved daughter. Dr. Battle passed away soon after that.

Nothing stays the same.

To the left of the cookbook are some spoons that belonged to my grandmothers. One is stamped STREATOR ILL HIGH SCHOOL in the bowl and is dated 2•8•'03 (1903), my grandmother's fourth birthday. The berry spoon in the center (that I use almost every day to stir my coffee) was my great grandmother's. It's stamped " '96", 1896 that is!

There's a Keurig Coffee maker, which managed to replace my Cuisinart (NEVER thought I'd give that up!) A glass jar holding Stevia that has replaced our sugar. The white bird salt and pepper shakers remind me of the extensive miniature salt and pepper shaker collection my mom collected in the '40's (mom's been gone now for over 25 years.) On the right side of my cookbook is the gluten-egg-milk-butter-GMO free chicken dumpling recipe I created the other night. Finally there's the mug with two of my grandsons' picture on it. I look at the mug and I'm reminded of how fast they are growing up.

There's more at stake here though, besides the items in my kitchen. It's about more than mugs with the grandson's picture, spoons that bring out lots of memories, recipes and such; I'm talking about changing our way of thinking.

Nothing stays the same.

We're knocking out wheat, egg, milk, cheese, butter, soy, peanut, GMO's and more from our diet, but what I'm thinking about is even tougher. It's about changing the way we thinking about dyslexia; a change of attitude in the schools and in our nation.

When it comes to dyslexia, autism, ADHD, etc. it feels like nothing has changed.

Something has to happen.

Thank you Mr. Falker

"Trisha was sure Mr. Falker believed that she could read. She had learned to memorize what the kid next to her was reading."

I'd been asked to read aloud to a school group. This wasn't something I was doing as a learning specialist or a dyslexia expert, just as an ordinary citizen.  I put a lot of thought into what book I should read and decided it should be a book students could relate to.

"Almost as if it were magic, or as if light poured into her brain, the words and sentences started to take shape on the page as they never had before."

These lines I'm quoting are from the book, Thank you Mr. Falker by Patricia Polacco. The main character in the book isn't about a fictional character created by an unsuspecting author. This story is about the author, Ms. Polacco herself.

I first read through the book to become familiar with the story. It had been years since I'd read this book. The plan was to 'read' the book from memory on the day I visited the school. Then I could make direct eye contact while I read, in hopes of making a connection with the students. It would be an elementary class so I knew undoubtedly several kids in the group would be struggling with dyslexia, reading difficulties and/or language skills. Maybe reading this book aloud to them would help some know that they are not alone.

I knew it was a lot to hope for over just a short amount of time, but I thought it was worth it all.

I sat down to read through the book that first time and cried. Tears ran down my face as I read about the pain Trisha had experienced because of reading struggles. Guess it was a good idea to read through the book after all. Didn't want to get all teary eyes in front of the kids and not be able to read!

Reading day came quickly and before I knew it I was walking along the school's tiled floor, through the long hallway to the gym. Time flew quickly as I sat down and began to read to the class circled around my chair. But it wasn't long before more than one child told me how they found reading to be the hardest thing they had to do at school. Immediately they began identifying with the book's main character. Some had had the book read to them before and told me it was one of their favorite books. 

In the end I think I learned more than any of the children did that day. I've been working with dyslexia and reading difficulties for over 30 years since I co-taught a 1st grade Sunday School class where one beautiful little girl could not read a word. But even after 30 plus years of trying to understand learning differences I still am trying to take it all in. 

Thank you to all the children out there who touch my heart and inspire me to continue on. 

"'But, little one, don't you understand, you don't see letters or numbers the way other people do.  And you've gotten through school all this time, and fooled many, many, many good teachers!"  He smiled at her. "That took cunning, and smartness, and such, such bravery.'"

It's my Anniversary!

Gift of Dyslexia Workshop

Call it what you like: an inkling, a vision, wild imagination, or simply insight. I sat there in my classroom late one evening frantically searching for answers. Whatever you call it, in an instant it convinced me to go to my bookcase, reach over, and grab the book, The Gift of Dyslexia. 

All along, it had been sitting right there. I'd read the book years before but guess it wasn't meant to be until now.

I flung The Gift of Dyslexia open, read the first page that I turned to, and it felt as if all the answers, to all of my questions, were laid at my feet. 

Sounds crazy, yes, but if you've ever been in a similar spot I think you can understand. I raced home. I couldn't wait to share my discovery with my husband. As I showed him the book, and what it meant to me, he rapidly understood. 

Here was what I'd been searching for.  My husband did the ground work in determining where and when I could begin training in the Davis methods and soon I was enrolled in an upcoming workshop: I was going to San Francisco, California! 

That first workshop is kind of a blur, everything seemed to happen so quickly. Answers flooded my mind but questions came on board even faster as the material was presented!

Originally I'd estimated that maybe 20% of the children from my special education caseload were somewhere on the dyslexic spectrum. Let's just say that guess was off! Once I was back at home and beginning my field studies I realized that it was closer to 95% of my students who were either dyslexic or carried dyslexic traits. 

Hard to believe it's been ten years since that first workshop. Hard to believe there were so many difficult situations that caused me to search. It's been a wild and crazy ride, one that has changed the course of my life, that I am sure of!

Final Straw before San Fran!

One day the atmosphere in my classroom was different.  All day long a sense of change was in the air and I felt like I was going crazy!

I made a discovery that afternoon.  A team member was ill, which explained why their work hadn't been completed for some time. This work was an integral part of our team process. In other words, as a team we were dramatically behind. 

I poured over files, reports and test scores that evening when everyone else had gone home for the night. As time went by my frustration grew, how were we going to make up this work? About this time the sun began to set in the west. Brilliant crimson rays of the final sunlight filled my room like I'd never seen before. 

The dazzling scene unfolded while I sat at the small, round table opposite from the window. The scene is forever burned in my memory. I opened my colleague's files then and made a discovery. Glaring at me was new information. 

It was what I call the final straw as in "a series of events which finally makes you feel that you cannot continue." 

In that moment I gazed at the true brilliance of some of my kiddos. These were reports that had not been given to me before and they explained more about my struggling kids. These were children who cried at the drop of a hat, who passionately despised school, who hated reading... and now I was discovering what I'd suspected all along. Some of these kids were quite smart. No, not just smart, they were Gifted!

In a flash an inkling came to me. A vision in my mind's eye I saw a book. As I'm inclined to do at times I'll bet anything I was talking out loud! "Alright!" I said to myself.  I got out of my chair and stepped over to the bookcase and pulled the book right off the shelf. The book had been there all along. 

The book is called "The Gift of Dyslexia." The rest is history because after that moment I was on a new path. This new path lead me to San Francisco, California. This is where the next leg of my journey began ten years ago this month!

Tourette's, ADHD, Dyslexia, Reading, Writing and so much more!

After the Tourette's workshop in St. Louis I went back to school, back to teaching.

At times I felt very alone in my quest. Tourette's, ADHD, learning disabilities, reading problems, math, writing/spelling/speech... more types of problems then I could count! Everyone seemed to have their own set of special needs. So many needs and no real answers!

Let me tell you about a few.

I remember one child, who moved from preschool to kindergarten to first grade, and all along his mother claimed that her son knew the alphabet. At school we didn't see any evidence of this. Mom kept insisting that most nights they would sit in a quiet place working on learning the letters of the alphabet. In those moments he knew the alphabet.

It's hard to believe something when you can't see it for yourself (which pretty much sums up dyslexia for the non-dyslexic!). I'll admit, I found it hard to believe this mom at first. I couldn't hear him recite the alphabet. As time went by I realized she was telling the truth, whether we saw the evidence or not. Why would she persist in her claim if it wasn't true? (And it wasn't too long before we would see loads of progress!)

There was another child who despised school. Reading was his least favorite class. He struggled to read at a beginning kindergarten level, even though he was in third grade.

One day my classroom lesson for the third grade kiddos was focused on the pumpkins we were growing from seeds. We started the seeds in small containers in the classroom, and began daily noting any changes.  To do this we used observation, drawings and writings. I'd found an old set of encyclopedias, that were being tossed out, and decided to incorporate topics from them into the lesson. I also let the kids take the encyclopedias home when we finished.

The next day my young friend is super excited. According to him I taught him something wonderful! I did what? I wondered. Then slowly I began to realize. That evening, at home with the 'A' encyclopedia I'd given him, he had started reading. I hadn't taught him, he'd taught himself. I can guess that feeling comfortable with the book, after using it in the classroom with his journaling about the pumpkin, he'd gained some confidence.

From that day on I found magazines, books and interesting material for him. These may not have been the public school text books, but he was reading about things he found interesting.

There are more stories about the challenges of kids with special needs. Along the way I thought I was doing a fairly good job of helping my students. I thought we were making great progress.  But one day everything changed.

The atmosphere was different that day. I couldn't put my finger on it but something was different.

Searching for answers: first stop, St. Louis.

Years had gone by. Years of searching, sometimes not even knowing what I was looking for.  It was the challenge of trying to figure out so many different learning issues with the children in my life.

I'd seen kids who were thrown through a loop when 1+ 2=__ was presented.

They could count out three objects, but couldn't fill in that blank on the paper.

There were kids who could read the word "the" in one sentence, but not the next.

Kids who had been taught about commas, but couldn't 'see' one in a book.

It was overwhelming.

I went back to school and switched careers. I got another degree and a teaching certificate. I became a special educator and attended teacher workshops, in-services, classes, training's, seminars and I still had questions!

It may sound a bit dramatic, but at times I didn't even know what I was trying to find. That's the truth. Now I call it dyslexia, but years ago, dyslexia was barely talked about.

When one of my elementary school students was diagnosed with attention deficit I took notice. The real kicker was that less than a year after the ADHD diagnosis the doctors changed their minds. Now my student was diagnosed with Tourette's Syndrome.

Okay, I thought, now we have something. I packed up for St. Louis to attend a workshop on Tourette's with a world renowned specialist. It was an interesting workshop down by the St. Louis Arch.  Something bigger than the Gateway-to-the-West occurred during the workshop.

At one point while this renowned speaker was describing his work I had a thought, “How does this overlap with dyslexia?”

When he allowed questions I raised my hand and asked, "How are Tourette's and dyslexia related?"

He replied that he could not answer my question. Now I really wanted an answer! At the next break in the lecture I stood in line, to ask him face to face about dyslexia.

His response was to send him an email and he'd send me his research. I never heard from him again. But at this point in my life I'd been searching for too long to let that stop me.

At this point it wasn't about me or my questions, it was about the kids. Those wonderful, funny, cheerful kiddos who had gifts and talents in everyday life, yet they just couldn't seem to learn.  It just didn't make any sense.

That's why I was still searching.

I continued searching, until one day I had an answer! More tomorrow on how I found an answer!